You surely have seen them: professional athletes with a world of talent who fail because they can’t get along with teammates or management. Or people in a workplace who have excellent skills but are disruptive or out of place in a team setting.
Such people can be said to lack emotional intelligence, which is generally described as the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions, empathize with the emotions of others and to anticipate how someone else might feel in a given situation.
Emotional intelligence (sometimes called EQ) is an essential attribute in life and is important to making progress in the workplace. It can be the key to an environment where people function at a high level individually and also as a team. Just one person low on the EQ scale can be a powerful negative force.
Developing emotional intelligence can make a big difference in achieving your career aspirations. And it’s not something you need to be born with — as with building your brain and your body, there are measures you can take to improve your EQ.
EQ on the job
Researchers have identified various benefits to emotional intelligence in work environments. It fosters harmonious relationships, helps people deal with conflicts and stress, enhances job satisfaction and generally improves team performance.
Psychologists have noted a few basic traits of people with strong EQ. They can manage powerful emotions during difficult times and show a calm exterior even when they feel differently. By understanding their emotions they can channel their actions and decisions in positive directions.
Equally important, they observe and understand how others feel and can comfortably adapt their own emotions to fit the situation. This helps them connect with others and form productive working relationships.
On the other hand, people deficient in EQ may express themselves and act in ways that foster tension and leave other team members feeling stressed and disrespected. They may function as lone wolves instead of working with a team toward a goal.
Leaders with poor emotional intelligence might fail to adjust to changing conditions and instead double down on processes or policies that aren’t working. This leads to poor decision-making and frustration among team members who may already be struggling. The results can include low morale, poor team performance and the departure of high-quality people.
Building EQ?
For some people, emotional intelligence comes naturally. For others, it is an acquired attribute. If you think your EQ could use improvement, there are several techniques you can use.
Some experts advise documenting feelings as a way to understand them. This could include making notes at the end of a challenging day, or keeping a journal. Another technique some recommend is practicing meditation and mindfulness.
Meditation can take various forms; it helps a troubled mind settle down and brings a sense of calm. Mindfulness is simply learning to live in the moment no matter what you may be doing, instead of stressing over something that has just happened or might happen.
Active listening is an essential part of emotional intelligence. When another person is talking, we often wait for an opportunity to respond instead of actually hearing what’s being said. An emotionally intelligent person listens carefully, while also paying attention to cues like body language and tone of voice to understand how the other party is feeling.
Another way to develop EQ is to remember occasions when someone addressed you or asked for your opinion in ways that made you feel valued or validated. What exactly did they say? How did they raise the subject? Memory of your own experiences in such situations can help you relate more sensitively to others.
In a way, emotional intelligence is like physical fitness: It is a journey that requires dedication and consistent practice. But as your EQ rises, you may well find your work satisfaction and career prospects rising along with it.
