I’m not the world’s most outgoing person, so when among strangers I’m not naturally inclined to say hello and strike up conversations.

In professional life, though, I soon discovered that my reticence was depriving me of opportunities — to learn, to build a network, to win clients, to find friends.

I began making it a rule, when traveling or at events in my industry, to always say hello and introduce myself to the person next to me, be that on an airplane, in the audience at a seminar or at a table during lunch.

It was a low-risk way to forge a connection, to learn from another person, or to share some of my knowledge with someone on the off chance they could use it. At the very least it was an entry to what could be an enjoyable conversation about almost anything: family, fishing, sports, travel.

REACHING OUT

An embodiment of this practice was someone I met at an environmental services trade show I used to attend regularly. Ed Fitzgerald, for many years a safety trainer with an equipment dealer, and now self-employed as a consultant, called it the Three-Foot Rule, as in, “If you come within three feet of me, I’m shaking your hand.”

Ed attended trade shows in a sales mode, so it was in his and his company’s interest for him to reach out to people. I would argue also that Ed was born with the gregarious gene. He was always smiling, upbeat, interested in others, especially in how he could help them. I can’t begin to estimate the clients his company won and the sales they earned thanks to Ed’s personality.

I was never as natural as Ed in opening up in busy environments where, let’s face it, some people would rather be left alone. But I had my moments. Once on a plane trip for a marketing agency, I struck up a conversation with the fellow in the next seat, who turned out to be an executive for a food company that was looking for help with advertising.

Sometimes, encounters simply led to small-world moments. Once at a conference the guy next to me at lunch said he had lived for a time in my old home town, on the east side, where my first high school girlfriend lived. I mentioned her father’s name and asked if he’d known him. He replied, “I bought his house.”

ARE YOU MISSING OUT?

What about you? Are you making the most of your profession’s events? First of all, are you making a point to attend your associations’ trade shows, conferences, training events and short schools, whether your employer pays your way or not?

And if so, are you taking full advantage of the opportunities presented? I know your reason for attending industry events is not the same as Ed Fitzgerald’s, or mine for that matter. But it’s still to your benefit to observe the Three-Foot Rule, or something similar.

The more people you connect with, the more people you can welcome into your network. And the more people in your network, the more sources you have to help you solve some nettlesome problem with your process, to provide the pros and cons of a new technology you might be considering, to give you a referral to an excellent new operator to add to your team.

A COROLLARY

In that spirit, here’s a variation on the Three-Foot Rule that you might consider trying. If you’re at an event with members of your plant team, then at lunch time make an agreement to split up — each sit at a table with at least some people you don’t already know.

If you all sit together, or with long-time acquaintances in the industry, it’ll be easy just to talk among yourselves, and you won’t learn much that way. Some of the most worthwhile conversations I’ve had at shows and conferences are with people I never would have met except that I walked up to a table and asked, “Mind if I join you?”

This is something to try even — especially — if you’re less like Ed Fitzgerald and more like me. Give it a shot. You’ll have nothing to lose and a great deal to gain.